Oh hey. It's been a hot minute. Just been over here raising two wild ones in a pandemic...so i've been a little tied up.
The other day I got the urge to get back into my blog space. However, due to pandemic induced brain fog, thinking up content posed a challenge. Naturally, I took it to the gram for some inspo. Shoutout to one of my hubby's friends for this idea: Advice for the new dads to be.
Conversation around the role of dad-to-be has started to gain some traction, but it's still not totally adequate. New dads are kind of in a weird space because while they too are about to become a parent, their journey getting there is vastly different than that of mom.
In this post I'm going to share my top tips for the dads-to-be; how you can bond with your babe and find your place within your new family unit.
Here we go...
+ Skin to skin. let's hit the ground running dads. Snuggling your teeny tiny new bundle is the absolute most fun way to start bonding with your babe. Skin to skin contact is super beneficial for the both of you. It will allow baby to start getting to know your heartbeat, your smell and all the things that make you dad. Take advantage of it b/c this tiny stage is so fleeting!
+You are not babysitting ... you are being a parent. Dads...this is a mindset mold opportunity right here -> there is arguably nothing more frustrating than when a dad describes his parenting responsibilities as "babysitting." The tiny little human crying and pooping himself is not your client, he is your literal DNA. You are not doing favors by engaging in child related tasks...you are parenting your baby. If you realize from the beginning that childcare responsibilities belong to you too, you will save yourself a lot of death glares from your partner.
+ Read books. It's never to early to start the habit of cuddling up with a good book and your new babe. Having that special one on one time will do wonders for the dad/baby bond. My hubby got into this routine early with both Axel and Beckham and it's now something that is a regular part of his day with them.
+ Sing songs. Pick a tune that will be your special song to share with baby. This will happen pretty naturally when you're frantically scrolling through your spotify playlists during a crying episode and you stumble upon a song that stops the crying in its tracks. Axel's "meltdown mender" song was "Free Fallin" by Tom Petty. Beckham's was "California" by The Roosevelts.
+ Hierarchy. Dads -> I'm gonna try to break this to you gently. You are not going to be a starting player for a good long time in the game of newborn baby life. The focus for the first several months is going to be solely on the wellbeing of mama and baby; one will directly effect the other. None of this means that your role is not appreciated...it just means that during such a sensitive transition period, all efforts need to be channeled into the starting players. When mama is healed and baby is on a schedule, your time will come! but until then, be patient with the process and don't waste energy feeling that you are being left out.
+ Don't expect an instant connection. Dads -> don't beat yourself up if you lay eyes on the new earth-side family member and don't feel all the sparks and fireworks. Mama had 9 months of literally growing and carrying baby ... 9 months with a constant reminder of the inevitable existence of your new tiny human. Baby being born is dads day one. Don't expect to be on the same level as mama in terms of the connection felt. In fact, don't even worry if you feel no connection at all! This does not mean you don't love and care for your baby...it simply means you are 9 months late to the game and need a chance to get your bearings. I promise, you and baby will be besties in no time.
+ Just do it. If you sense that something needs to be done for baby [i.e. diaper change/bottle] don't give the old "hey should I change his diaper?" just get right in there and do it! Taking initiative towards some of the grunt work will be so appreciated by your partner.
+ The real world. Having a job outside the home is not a free pass for baby related tasks. Dads we get it, you spent a whole day at work and just want to come home, plop yourself down on the couch and watch ESPN. Reality check -> while mom may not have left the house for work today, she has been working non-stop keeping your household running and your tiny human alive. The day isn't over until all the offspring are sound asleep in their beds.
+ Take all the selfies. Dad selfies are beyond hysterical...they're usually from the most heinous angles and thus provide the funniest photos you will cherish forever. Take as many pics and videos with your babe as you can! You will never regret documenting your time together.
+ You got this. Dads -> know that if you show love, compassion and support to your babe and your partner, you have already accomplished the most important part of being a dad.
You got this.
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