If you have been following my blog, you have seen my previous post about newborn etiquette when visiting baby after he/she has arrived home. This post is all about hospital visit etiquette. While it may seem relatively simple to visit babe in the hospital, there are a lot of factors that need to be considered. The list below details the most important considerations. Friends and family of the new parents, this is for you. Please read this list carefully and take it seriously. Mom and dad will be so grateful.
Hospital Visit Etiquette
Do not show up unless invited or have asked mom and been approved. Remember, mom loves you and appreciates you wanting to be there so very much. However, she just gave birth and has a whole host of things going on internally and externally. If she needs her space in those immediate days after baby, let her have it without making her feel bad.
Stay home if you're sick or you have knowingly been around someone who is sick...even if it's "just a cold." Just a cold for you is no big deal...just a cold for a newborn is an emergent and potentially life threatening situation.
Ask before picking up baby and do not be offended if mom says no...mom loves and appreciates all the friends and family that want to gather to celebrate the new little life, but that does not mean that she wants everyone holding baby. The immediate days after birth are very sensitive and mom is feeling very protective. Allow her to feel that way without shaming her.
If you do hold baby, know when to give him/her back. Please do not sit there holding baby for 45 minutes. As heavenly as that is, mom and baby need rest.
Ask permission before taking pictures. While this brand new precious life is the perfect subject for alllll the portrait mode pics, he/she is also a human being that belongs to mom and dad. Make sure to see if they are ok with you taking pictures of their most prized possession.
Do not post anything on social media about baby's arrival...mom and dad may not have done this yet and it is their news to share! If they have already announced, you still need to make sure to ask before posting.
DO NOT KISS THE BABY...I cannot stress this enough. Do not ever kiss the baby...literally ever...for any reason...even if there's a fire [if you know you know]...do. not. kiss. newborns. Whether you are in the hospital or outside of it, kissing a newborn that is not your child is never acceptable. This is the quickest vehicle to germ spreading and the subject of many recent news reports about babies becoming severely ill or even dying because of someone who kissed them and spread germs. Do not be that person.
Do not hold baby's hands. I know those little fingers are irresistible, but resist. While it is so tempting to grip those tiny hands...think of it like this: your gross germ infested adult hand is now touching the main part of the body the baby puts in his/her mouth. Almost a guarantee for spreading illness...so don't do it...even if you have washed your hands for 30 minutes straight under hot water with a pound of soap...do not touch their hands.
Wash your hands immediately upon entering the hospital room. Actually use soap and scrub for a minimum of 20 seconds.
If you know the room number and code, do not give it out to others without asking mom and dad first. Mom and dad need to be made aware of anyone who is considering coming for a visit [whether they are a friend or family member] and they need to have the chance to either accept or deny.
Please do not overstay. Mom needs her rest. She has just been through a marathon and her time in the hospital is the most rest she is going to get for a very long time. Say your hellos, meet the tiny new earthling and then peace out...unless of course mom has instructed otherwise.
No drama! if there are complicated family dynamics and you're concerned about "running into" a particular family member, stay home. Mom does not need to facilitate visits and feel the need to keep everyone calm...she has been through enough.
No opinions on the chosen name. In the very wise words of Bambi's Thumper, if you don't have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.
Let's get real here for a second. It truly blows my mind that some newborn situations have friends and family members who do not take these rules seriously. Moms can often get responses that insinuate she is being to harsh or to rigid. There is NO SUCH THING as too rigid when it comes to protecting the health of a newborn and preserving the sanity of a new mom. With approaching the birth of my second son, I have no problem setting boundaries with family and friends because this is not my first rodeo, but for the mamas out there having their first babies and trying to get their footing in their new role, they can easily feel steamrolled. FRIENDS AND FAMILY read this post and take it seriously. Understand that we mamas appreciate your excitement so so so very much, but that does not mean you are above the rules. This time is about mama and baby...it is not a time for people pleasing. Please respect that and allow mom to feel supported instead of uncomfortable.
Mamas - what are your craziest newborn visit stories? Comment below or DM me on IG...I love hearing all the madness :)
Pictured below: Day 3 of our NICU stay. We did not have any visitors [besides my own Mama] during this time due to the importance of controlling germ exposure. I was SO appreciative of friends and family understanding/respecting the situation. I will never forget that.
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