Remember before your first baby was born when you would think about how life would be after baby and say things like "yea it will be hard, but nothing will really change!" "I will still do all the things I used to do...the baby will come with me or ill get a sitter" "I'll still see my friends all the time...we will make a point to have nights out together regularly"
Oh the naivety of people with no children.
"Mom guilt" is a very popular phrase these days. We hear references to it on social media all the time...or just DM memes about it to our mom friends.
What is it really though? Mom guilt manifests differently for every single mama out there...for me, it's literally any time I spend away from my son whether it's something bigger involving leaving the house or something small like actually washing and blowdrying my hair in the same day
So why do we have mom guilt? For a multitude of reasons a large majority of mamas out there feel an intense pressure to be present for their children at every waking moment. If they aren't, that's when the mom guilt sets in...when you feel like you're doing something wrong by taking that workout class, getting your nails done or just taking a minute to breathe without tiny hands pulling you in 300 directions at once. Spoiler alert: you are NOT doing anything wrong by taking a breather! It's actually quite the opposite. When mom feels seen and recharged, babe gets the best version of mom when she is around.
Now of course I am preaching all the things I know intellectually, but obviously still have a hard time applying to my actual life! I thought as my son got older and I settled more into a groove of being a mom that it would get easier to have self-care time without the guilt...wrong. It has actually gotten harder for me because now I know he is aware of when I am not around. This is when I turn to all my mama advice go to people [you know who you are :)] and begggg for advice on when the guilt will go away!!! Another spoiler alert: it won't go away...it is just something you have to learn to be secure with. Feeling insecure about a decision to leave your kid for two hours to run errands alone or do whatever you need to do is what feeds mom guilt. You have to get to a place, in your own time, where you can just own it...yea, I need a break so I am going to take one. My kid is safe and loved and I will be back soon. This is the mantra I live by during the small amounts of time I spend away from my son and guess what? It actually does help!
To the other mamas out there, what is your experience with mom guilt?? How do you get through it?? Drop a comment below. Would love to hear what others have to say!
Lauren,
HAHAHA yea the poor second one gets the shaft lol...and if I remember correctly, you literally had the doctor discharge you early so you could get home to Leon hahahahah ... straight up gave birth to Maddox and then said peace out hahahah
I dream of the day when I’ll be able to leave the kids overnight and wake up in a hotel room at whatever time I want. :) But the reality is the only “vacation” I’ve taken and the only time I’ve left Leon overnight in 7 years was when I was forced to go to the hospital to birth Maddox haha. I hear you on the mom guilt! It gets easier with the second one, poor thing. :)
Lara - I am literally laughing out loud reading your comment because I can picture this so clearly hahahaha. You literally running out of the house as fast as you can to escape the land of twins lmao. Girl I commmmennnd you for being secure enough to have no guilt! That is literally my goal! You are NOT broken...you're doing it right! Your kids know you love them more than anything on the planet [well I dk if more than disney movies, but a close second?] so you deserve any chance you can get to have some quality mama time to yourself!!
Lol I think I’m broken. Whenever I get a moment away from my littles I take it and run!! Haha I’m like you good Ethan...ok byeeeeeee. I NEED my self care time or I start to get cranky. Being outnumbered by two babies all day does something to your brain 😆. Loving your posts chica! Keep them coming!!