Happy Monday! Starting off this week with a post about newborn etiquette; how to go about scheduling a visit to meet the new babe, what to expect during the visit and how to limit germ exposure. With flu season running strong, it is so important to be aware of the very different and much more cautious rules that apply when being within the vicinity of a newborn baby. Some of these suggestions may seem strict to the non-parents visitors, but they are in place for very specific reasons and should be abided by whether or not it is flu season. Let's dive right in.
1. Do not expect a visit with baby during their first week of life. While some moms and dads may be cool with this, it is certainly not the majority and should not be an expectation. This first week of life is the most intense for both mom and baby. Visiting is most likely reserved for family members only. So for all the friends [and even some family members] out there, do not be offended if you're not called upon during this first week. Consider what mom and baby have just gone through and know that mom will want you around as soon as she is ready.
2. Consider the time of year. ALL newborns have to have extra precautions taken to prevent illness despite the time of year, but especially those born during flu season. If your new-parent friends/family members do not want extra bodies around on a regular basis after the birth of their flu season newborn, do not take offense! Newborns cannot get flu shots until 6 months of age, which means limiting exposure to even a small common cold is so unbelievably important. Protecting the health of the baby has to be more important than mom worrying about hurting someones feelings. Friends and family, keep that in mind. We love you, but we do not love your germs.
3. All visitors must have had a flu shot. This is non negotiable. As mentioned above, newborns cannot get the flu shot until they are 6 months old, which means the people around them have to be armed with their shots/vaccinations in order to help protect the innocent baby that cannot yet get them. If you do not want to get a flu shot/not up on your regular vaccines, do not plan on visiting baby until they are able to be vaccinated themselves.
4. Wash your hands. When you arrive for your visit with the new little addition, wash your hands immidietly. Like literally right away. Walk into the home, ask for the bathroom and wash away. Roll your sleeves up and wash up the arms too. If you went to high school with me and took Ms. Agzigian's genetics class, you know the true method for washing your hands properly [literally we had weekly quizzes on this. Actual quizzes for points...that's how important this is]. If you did not go to high school with me and want the deets, hit me up and I'd be happy to share. With newborns around, germ prevention is of the utmost importance.
5. Don't show up unannounced. The days of having plans on a whim are over for the parents of a newborn. You have no clue what their night or morning may have been like...so while you may be stopping by with the absolute kindest of intentions, it won't necessarily feels that way. Call or text ahead of time and let mom tell you when a good time to stop by is.
6. No kissing the baby. Kissing the baby is reserved for mom and dad only. This is literally how germs spread. While the urge to kiss the tiny perfect little angel is strong, resist. Baby does not need or want your germs no matter how loving they may be :).
7. Do not bring your kids. When going to visit a new baby, leave your kids at home. Think of children as tiny human germ incubators. They are cute and we love them, but they carry more bacteria and virus than literally anything. Please be considerate and leave your children at home.
8. Be mindful of time. When headed to your visit with the new babe, be aware of time. Unless specifically instructed by mom, try to stay less than one hour. Everyone in the house is exhausted and likely have 10000000000 things to do. Pop in and visit for a little and then plan to leave by the time that hour mark hits.
9. Inside voices please. Tiny humans have tiny ears. Be aware of that when you are in the house. Their little bodies are still adjusting to being outside the protection of the womb. They are getting accustomed to all kinds of sensory exposure. Do not overload them with loud talking tones.
10. Are you sick? Check in with yourself. If you have been sick very recently, if your partner is sick or if your children are sick do not go and visit a brand new baby. Even if you have a slight sniffle or twinge in your throat...just wait on the visit. A simple common cold for an adult can lead to a hospital stay and a spinal tap for a baby that is under 3 months old.
11. Do not be offended if mom does not have you hold baby. I can say this from experience, mama bear instinct kicks in immediately. Humans are animals...we have the natural instinct to protect our young and to become very territorial when they are so young, tiny and in need of protection. Mom may not be ready to have others hold baby. This does not mean she doesn't trust you or thinks you would do something wrong. This simply means she is feeling protective and that is perfectly natural. Do not be offended and do not make her feel bad about those very appropriate feelings.
12. Don't get angry when mom and dad say no. Sometimes a visit may just be denied for no other reason than mom and dad are not up for it. Again, this does not mean you are not valued and loved as a friend or family member...it actually has absolutely nothing to do with you at all. Mom and dad are going through a lot of changes during the newborn stage and sometimes along with that learning curve, they need to set boundaries for self preservation.
While the list could continue, these 12 rules of newborn etiquette are the most pertinent and generally agreed upon suggestions. Bottom line here is mom and dad love you all...we love our friends and love our family...we are so grateful that you are so excited to be part of baby's life and we wouldn't have it any other way. That being said, the newborn stage has so many moving components that need to be addressed well before the feelings of friends and family who want visits. It is the job of mom and dad to protect baby even when that involves setting boundaries that others may not like or understand. The moment you become a parents a switch goes off and you suddenly realize that the welfare of your child is up to you and you alone. This means that your only concern is your child and their needs...not the pleasing of other people. So for all the friends and family out there reading this, know you are loved and valued always even when we mamas have to set boundaries.
Pictured below: the face Axel made when the doctor said he was ready to go home with mom and dad.
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