When vampires attack

Contrary to what the title of this post may be, I am not actually going to talk about vampires :). The title was inspired by my sister in law, Alexa, when I sent her a picture of what happened to my face during Beckham's birth. I can always rely on Alexa to give it to me straight and she did not disappoint!

You may be wondering why she thinks I look like a vampire tried to eat me? Don't worry...there will be a picture below, but first let's back it up.

My previous post was all about the drama involved with Beckham's birth. Of course all of that was not enough and I had to come out of it with every single blood vessel in my face and eyes totally broken! Because you don't feel gross enough after birth, why not add a hideous face to the mix? Keeps you humble that's for sure.

So anyways. Of course midway through my very fast and painful birth, my hubs looks at the nurse and goes "wait what's happening to her face? is she having an allergic reaction?" Now... in the midst of an epidural free birth, I am like "wait, but am I dying also?" Thank god no. I wasn't even on any medication at that point since there was no time so it couldn't have been an allergic reaction. What was it then? No one really knows. The doctors and nurses suspected that because I did not have any pain killers, I was able to be more aggressive with each push, which literally caused my face to explode lol [not the medical terminology used btw].

I have kept you waiting long enough. This is what I had the pleasure of seeing in the mirror moments after Beckham arrived.

Oh but wait. It gets so much better. Approx 3-5 minutes after birth, the hubs looks at me for a very long second and goes "I have a hat in the car, do you want me to get it for you?" In any other circumstance I would have given him a death stare that would have literally burned through his core, but in this moment, all I could do was die laughing!!!! The whole situation was so surreal that I should have expected I would end up looking like Edward Cullen attacked my face.

Is this the end of the saga? Nope. Of course not. Because Murphy's Law.

Sooo. After Beckham was born of course I had visits from a series of doctors/nurses checking in on me and baby boy. These incredibly talented and accomplished doctors and nurses, some of which had been practicing for 20+ years, HAD NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE. So basically no one could tell me when this was going to go away. Might I remind you that I was at a top notch hospital in a large metropolitan city, it's not like we were in the middle of nowhere. I was amongst world renowned doctors who in all their years had never seen this. Reassuring right? Wrong.

As you can see from the picture above, my face is really bad, but my eyes...not so bad. Of course they would not stay that way right? Then this happened....

BOTH of my eyes literally turned entirely red. Now maybe taking on a possessed kind of vampire look? What do you think Alexa? :).

Luckily now the face is mostly recovered and the eyes are on their way...as SIL would say I just look "post facial" now lol. However, in this age of COVID, I do have to say it has come in handy. When I have taken Axel to the park [outdoors people don't worry], people literally repel from me probably thinking this is some advanced COVID symptom. So really it has worked in my favor because all the potentially sick people stay waaaay more than 6 feet away from me! Extreme social distancing method? Yep.

See below for current vampire face status as well as hilarious commentary from my SIL. Seriously though, Alexa made this whole ugly face status very comical and defused the situation for me...this is why family is so amazing and why I am so grateful.

Mamas: What are some crazy things that happened to you during labor/delivery? DM me with all the deets!